My World

"I have many dreams", says my friend. "Everyday I have different dreams, but I cant seem to achieve it all," she continues.

Why am i even posting this? I dunno.. I too have dreams. Dreams which remains as dreams.. When one has to choose between dreams and reality, no doubt, reality wins. Dreams is always bigger.. Bigger than what reality can really offer…:)

But then again, a note to self, dreams wont come to those who just sits on their butts..

This is going nowhere.. I going offline now.. Hate thinking bout current situation..:)

THIS is my fren, from primary school, whom i have not seen in ages..

Glad to be able to meet up with her again after soooo long..

Something i took from http:/www.kidung.com
If you can understand, Praise God… cuz its in Indon language but i think it should be a problem understanding it cuz i find it understandable. Understand? hahahahahahahaha

Mengapa Sulit Mengucap Syukur ?

Aku bermimpi suatu hari aku pergi ke surga dan seorang malaikat menemaniku dan menunjukkan keadaan di surga. Kami berjalan memasuki suatu ruang kerja penuh dengan para malaikat. Malaikat yang mengantarku berhenti di depanruang kerja pertama dan berkata, " Ini adalah Seksi Penerimaan. Di sini, semua permintaan yang ditujukan pada Allah diterima".

Aku melihat-lihat sekeliling tempat ini dan aku dapati tempat ini begitu sibuk dengan begitu banyak malaikat yang memilah-milah seluruh permohonan yang tertulis pada kertas dari manusia di seluruh dunia.

Kemudian aku dan malaikat-ku berjalan lagi melalui koridor yang panjang lalu sampailah kami pada ruang kerja kedua. Malaikat-ku berkata, "Ini adalah Seksi Pengepakan dan Pengiriman. Di sini kemuliaan dan berkat yangdiminta manusia diproses dan dikirim ke manusia-manusia yang masih hidup yang memintanya". Aku perhatikan lagi betapa sibuknya ruang kerja itu. Adabanyak malaikat yang bekerja begitu keras karena ada begitu banyaknya permohonan yang dimintakan dan sedang dipaketkan untuk dikirim ke bumi.

Kami melanjutkan perjalanan lagi hingga sampai pada ujung terjauh koridor panjang tersebut dan berhenti pada sebuah pintu ruang kerja yang sangatkecil. Yang sangat mengejutkan aku, hanya ada satu malaikat yang duduk di sana, hampir tidak melakukan apapun. "Ini adalah Seksi Pernyataan Terima Kasih", kata Malaikat-ku pelan. Dia tampak malu. "Bagaimana ini? Mengapa hampir tidak ada pekerjaan disini?", tanyaku. "Menyedihkan", Malaikat-ku menghela napas. " Setelah manusia menerima berkat yang mereka minta, sangat sedikit manusia yang mengirimkan pernyataan terima kasih". "Bagaimana manusia menyatakan terima kasih atas berkat Tuhan?", tanyaku. "Sederhana sekali", jawab Malaikat. "Cukup berkata, "Terima kasih, Tuhan".

"Lalu, berkat apa saja yang perlu kita syukuri", tanyaku. Malaikat-ku menjawab, "Jika engkau mempunyai makanan di lemari es, pakaian yang menutup tubuhmu, atap di atas kepalamu dan tempat untuk tidur, maka engkau lebih kaya dari 75% penduduk dunia ini."

"Jika engkau memiliki uang di bank, di dompetmu, dan uang-uang receh, maka engkau berada diantara 8% kesejahteraan dunia."

"Dan jika engkau mendapatkan pesan ini di komputer mu, engkau adalah bagian dari 1% di dunia yang memiliki kesempatan itu."

Juga…. "Jika engkau bangun pagi ini dengan lebih banyak kesehatan daripada kesakitan … engkau lebih diberkati daripada begitu banyak orang di dunia ini yang tidak dapat bertahan hidup hingga hari ini."

"Jika engkau tidak pernah mengalami ketakutan dalam perang, kesepian dalam penjara, kesengsaraan penyiksaan, atau kelaparan yang amat sangat, maka engkau lebih beruntung dari 700 juta orang di dunia".

"Jika orangtuamu masih hidup dan masih berada dalam ikatan pernikahan … maka engkau termasuk orang yang sangat jarang."

"Jika engkau masih bisa mencintai … maka engkau termasuk orang yang besar, karena cinta adalah berkat Tuhan yang tidak didapat dari manapun."

"Jika engkau dapat menegakkan kepala dan tersenyum, maka engkau bukanlah seperti orang kebanyakan, engkau unik dibandingkan semua mereka yang berada dalam keraguan dan keputusasaan."

"Jika engkau dapat membaca pesan ini, maka engkau menerima berkat ganda, yaitu bahwa seseorang yang mengirimkan ini padamu berpikir bahwa engkau orang yang sangat istimewa baginya, dan bahwa engkau lebih diberkati dari pada lebih dari 2 juta orang di dunia yang bahkan tidak dapat membaca sama sekali".

Nikmatilah hari-harimu, hitunglah berkat yang telah Tuhan anugerahkan kepadamu. Dan jika engkau berkenan, kirimkan pesan ini ke semua teman-temanmu untuk mengingatkan mereka betapa. diberkatinya kita semua.

"Dan ingatlah tatkala Tuhanmu menyatakan bahwa, ‘Sesungguhnya jika kamu bersyukur, pasti Aku akan menambahkan lebih banyak nikmat kepadamu ."

Ditujukan pada : Departemen Pernyataan Terima Kasih.
"Terima kasih, Tuhan! Terima kasih, Tuhan, atas anug’rah-Mu berupa kemampuan untuk menerjemahkan dan membagi pesan ini dan memberikan aku begitu banyak teman-teman yang istimewa untuk saling berbagi."

I was spending last few nites searching for lost friends over Friendster… N suprisingly, i came up with a few, whom i really really hv lost contact with…

How did i manage to find them? well, easy.. just looking thru friends friends, or search one by one… hehe…

i always wonder why i go to lengths to find a friend, losing sleep, food.. err, not really lar.. but actually spend time searching, when i can spent it on other things… hehe… but i like it, esp, when u found one u hv really not been in contact for ages… its fun…

I guess i’d continue my search… so search like nobody has ever done… hahahahahahahahahahah….

It has been a long time since blogging in friendster… apparently, my time has been spent blogging in multiply… hehehehe…

Since my return, i have busied myself with household chores that are pending… I just realised that I am staying in a very enormous house (even tho its just a so-so semi-d) cuz my cleaning seems endless… like the NeverEnding Story… sigh…

i think we have way too many things… i would gladly give away, but then, most of them belongs to my mom… heheh… but still apart from my mom’s stuff, there are other things, that i feel is unneccessary… namely, foodcovers.. the big foodcovers…

my house have 3 big food covers, all in different sizes n colors.. practically can be hung on the wall as decor… useless to hv that many covers when in truth, we only use one… besides, we dont even cook alot.. sigh… the other 2 is just left there to take up space..sigh…

aiyo…cleaning neverending, but my sleep always not really enuf…

now wanna go ZZZZzzzzZZZZZZZzzzzzzZZZZZZZ

I have to leave… I memang tak sampai hati nak tinggalkan this place. Yesterday, Baskin had a party. I wish I could stay. Suzanne asked me to join her n Irene on Sunday. I wish I could. Can I? I really want to. Can I, please?

I have actually postpone my trip back home d.. I was s’pose to be back last week. But then i stayed on a few more days for church. N then so i postponed it to Tuesday, 17th. Then Baskin party had to be postponed to fit most ppl, so i postponed it to 19th. All of the sudden, i have few things that i need to settle with a b****h. Forgive my harsh words but when it comes to the b****h, i cant controll my temper. It’s either i settle it with her or i just leave it. B’coz of that, I hv to postpone it til this weekend… Then suzanne extended the invitation to go jalan jalan… sigh…. AAARRRGGHHH…

I dread the day at home. Knowing that most of my friends are not there and I have to … sigh…

Gosh, I think i made TI sound/look so bad.. Actually TI is not bad. Just that, I have my dreams and hopes. I wish I could pen it down but i think my dreams and hopes are too complicated to be written down. I wish i can share it with my family but no can do either.. I just keep it in me…

Know what? mom told my grandfather that i’ll be back on 19th. Apparently he has some premonition that i wont be back on 19th… ehhehe… I guess he’s right… They are worried that i am alone here, with no relatives bla bla bla bla… that i might be mixing with the wrong gang and get myself into some crime or something… they r afraid 学坏。。。 SIGH… For goodness sake, im 25. If i wanted to mix with the wrong gang, I believed i would have already 学坏 long time ago, need not wait till now… sigh… Gimme a break will ya…

I believe that the longer i stay here, the more worried they are esp my grandfather…. that’s partly why i felt i have to go back… to ease their worries. Also, i think it’s my responsibility to care for them but……. i dont really want them to probe into what i do at the same time… sigh… selfish huh? I am rather secretive. I cannot just ‘blah’ all out… only with certain ppl am i able to do that….

Was talking with Bryan yesterday bout ‘chance/peluang/decision’ during the party. He said, if we hv the power to decide, why am i leaving Penang, knowing that I love this place and I can’t bear to leave… Like him, he loves this place, that’s why he has decided not to leave.  Yes, I can decide to stay but unlike him, i have only my sister n i in the family. I dont hv few extra siblings to take care of things back home… sigh… No matter how I dislike staying in TI, my conscience will not be at peace if I stay back in Penang. What Intan said was right. I have responsibilities. Everyone does. Only difference is whether it’s heavy or light, urgent or not.

Shoot, I really need to find a new hobby… I was thinking of fishing… ehhehe… but i can imagine what my parents/grandparents would say " Girls shouldnt go fishing, it’s too dangerous bla bla bla bla…" Probably can go join gym…oh dear, , are there any gym in TI? Even if there are, I can picture my family saying, "Dont go there! A lot of bad hats hang around in that place…" Yup, that’ll be their answer… sigh… If i choose to go for walks, "Dont go la. It’s not safe like it used to be anymore". What more can i do? I will get streamyx, that’s for sure. No question bout that…

One step at a time… yUP!! But i havent answered suzzane yet, i told her i’ll get back to her on the invitation and it’s Fri already tomorrow….!!!

SH%#^!! Don’t they have better things to do… i GOT a summons for illegal parking… but then, i have parked there many many times but only today i got the ticket… sigh… my mood went from bad to worse…

Today, mood was bad cuz was mad at a friend for doing things without looking properly. Then, plus the ticket, it went straight down… sigh… What to do… just pay the darn thing lor…. N m also worried bout another fren of mine… sigh…

I wanted to go Starbucks to blog today, but since i was at my fren’s place and she came back just in time, so i m here blogging at her place… hehehe…

PC Fair is here… i was thinking of buying a battery for the laptop… It just konked out… went dead on me.. cant even on the laptop with battery now… sigh… this month, dah le, tak de income utk bulan nie, nie nak belanje lagi utk semue brg brg… sigh… geramnye aku….

aku rase hidup aku skrg nie penuh cabaran & masalah la… kekadang, malas aku nak layan semuenye… menyampah gak… sigh… macam tak bertenaga le nak pikir pasal hidup hidup aku nie skrg…

dahle… i nak chow dah… biar ku blog di lain hari, ya!! TA-TA!! MUAKS….

Thank God for the existence for Wi-Fi… or more specifically, places that have Wi-Fi… namely Starbucks at P.Tikus… hahahah… Most likely will frequent this place till next week… N i’ll probably be hooked on coffee, or be broke, also because of coffee… hahaha…

Havent been checking my mails, or chatting, or updating my blogs, or uploading pics, or doing stuff that normally ppl do when they are online… But i hope to be able to do that these few days…

I have stopped my work, starting April. I will be going back home to help out my family. Will be here, at least till after Easter… So from now till then, I am trying to catch up with friends, spending time with them bla bla…and trying to eat up all that I will miss when I am back…

I wish I can blog longer today, but I have things to do, and place to go… hehehe… but ….

anyway, I will be blogging tmr.. i think… so till then….

MUAKKKKKKKSSSS……………….

I didnt realise some of my friends know about my plans to resign. News spread fast, huh??

I like my job. I know I can learn A LOT. But, i think I should be helping my parents. I know the thought of staying in TI is not me, but honestly, I am willing to try.

One hand, I do not want to leave, on the other hand, I should be going back to help my parents. Though I can work outside and stand on my feet and support myself (barely…heheh), still there are some expenses that I need my parents to help me cover. I am not like my friends. They can earn and support themselves and also paying for their loans. I can figure out why I am unable to do that… Perhaps, i spend too much on food, that’s why… hehehe…

well, yea, this time, it’s really time for me to leave penang… my heart remains with penang though. when i am back, my sis will be taking my car… so being ‘car-less’ will restrict my wanting to come back penang… hehehe… but i guess, on n off, i will ask to come back penang to visit my friends…

goshh… i WILL miss the food!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH……. how can i live without nice ‘char koay teow’, delicious western food, RAFIE Nasi Kandar, Frankie’s pizzas, Baskin Robbins ice cream, Secret Recipe’s Oreo milkshake, famous p.tikus ‘popiah’ etc…. sigh…

who knows, after few years back in hometown, after when everything is blooming nicely, i might just come back penang to work…

yea, who knows……………………………………………….

hehehehe….

Job’s good. Tired but nowadays ok lar… wanted to go for a movie but then go appointment later… sigh… also dunno got or not cuz that fella never confirm with me ler…

My new year celebration was good. Took a whole week off. Enjoyed my holiday to the fullest, no doubt. Umm… Saw n played with my lil’ cousins n niece… Gosh, my niece, the lil’ tomato won the Ms Waterfall contest. I thought I was the winner but apparently she won the crown right out of my hands…hahahah…

I wish I am able to put some of her pics here… sigh… but perhaps later lar…